Premarital Counseling

The conversations we can make time for

Communication and disagreement

We can look at what happens when you disagree, including how you each try to be heard and what makes it harder to listen. You may need help bringing up a concern, staying with a difficult conversation, or returning to it after taking a break.

Money and everyday responsibilities

Spending, saving, work, and household responsibilities often come with assumptions you haven’t had to explain before. We can explore what each of you expects, where those expectations came from, and how you’ll make decisions together when your preferences differ.

Family, closeness, and the future

There’s room to discuss relationships with family, expectations about children, affection and intimacy, and the role of faith or personal values in your life together. We can also give attention to concerns either of you has been unsure how to raise.

Understanding what you each bring

The same situation can mean something different to each of you. One person may experience a pause in conversation as rejection, while the other needs that pause to gather their thoughts. A disagreement about spending may involve different experiences of security, freedom, or responsibility. We can explore those meanings so you understand more about what’s happening between you.

We’ll also look at what you learned about relationships growing up and through your own experiences. Some of it may be something you want to carry into marriage; some may be something you want to do differently. Both of you will have room to explain what matters to you and what you’re concerned about.

How we’ll use SYMBIS

I’m a certified SYMBIS facilitator. You’ll each complete an online assessment individually, and we’ll use your shared report during our sessions. It covers areas such as your personalities, communication, conflict, finances, and expectations for marriage.

The report gives us a starting point for understanding your strengths and the areas that need more attention. We’ll connect it to your actual experiences as a couple, explore where your answers differ, and spend time on the conversations that matter most to you.

Practicing how you work through things

In our sessions, we can slow down a familiar disagreement and notice where you stop understanding each other. I may help you put a concern into words, check what your partner heard, or return to a point that got lost once the conversation became tense.

We can also notice the physical signs that a conversation is becoming difficult, such as tensing up, speaking more quickly, or going quiet. Learning to recognize those moments can help you ask for a pause and agree on how you’ll come back to the conversation. We’ll work toward a way of communicating where both of you can be honest and participate in decisions about your life together.